Soy is not an easy thing to eliminate from your life, and full disclosure, there is still soy in my diet (in the form of bread and crackers and some snackfoods), but there are some things you may not have thought of that are actually pretty easy to switch or make on your own. The things that I have the biggest problems with are almost entirely pure soy (mayonnaise, shortening, margarine, icing, etc.) so those are the things I cut out first. In general, given the choice between two like items where one contains soy and one does not, I choose the item without soy, provided I'm not compromising on taste/texture. Given that my allergy is not a life threatening one, when a soy-free version doesn't exist, I do still consume the regular item, but I try to buy as few items with soy as possible.
Reading Labels
Start by getting yourself to read labels. If it comes in a box or a jar, you need to read it. Depending on the severity of your allergy, this is going to become a part of your life. Learning to shop the perimeter of the store rather than the interior will also gradually become a part of your life. Things you wouldn't expect: tea, mixed nuts, bread, crackers, cake, cookies, canned icing, popcorn, popping corn, cake mix, chocolate, candy, the list goes on. Over 60% of prepackaged foods in America contain soy.) For some of these things (like tea, nuts, and popcorn), you should be able to find a brand on the shelf that doesn't have soy in the ingredients list. Remember it and you won't have so much trouble finding it next time.
Peanut Butter- Try JIF Naturals
Most peanut butters contain soybean oil. The only one that has ever given me hives is Reese's Peanut Butter(pretty instantly actually-i ate one spoonful from a jar and 10 minutes late someone asked me if i had gotten burned because there was a very large blister on my face). After that experience, I started paying more attention to labels. Most mainstream peanutbutters contain soy and most natural ones taste very different. I buy JIF Naturals- it's their natural brand and it's soy free, but it still tastes like regular JIF. I want to say that smuckers also has a soy free peanut butter, but I've never tried it. You should be able to find JIF naturals next to all the other peanut butter at your usual grocery store. Even our small town grocer carries it.
Margarine-Replace with butter
This is a no-brainer. Unless you have a whole slew of allergies including dairy (and I feel for you if you do), you can have real butter. Studies show that butter really isn't that bad for you. Provided you're eating a well balanced diet and not sucking down butter with a spoon, you should be fine.
Shortening- Replace with butter or canola oil
Every shortening I have ever found in a store is almost 100% pure hydrogenated soybean oil. In general, I find it better to substitute butter for vegetable shortening in baked goods and icing, but there are other types of shortening that you can buy online or from places like Trader Joes. They cost more and in my opinion don't work well for frying and generally perform less satisfactorily in baked goods. Spectrum Organics (http://www.spectrumorganics.com/ and on amazon.com) makes a palm kernel shortening. I don't recommend it for frying and suggest canola oil for frying instead (which is what most restaurants use in their fryers). This is one of those things where it is better to adapt to a different product that does the same job rather than finding a soy-free version of the product. It's expensive, it's not available in any store in my area (i checked Wegman's, Walmart, Giant, Karns, Weiss, and the local grocery store. We don't have a trader Joes). I could drive further to the Natural Foods store and probably find it, but again, i've tried it, i wasn't wowed, it's better to use something else.
Vegetable Oil-pick a type of oil rather than generic vegetable oil.
This is one of the easiest. Switch to just about any other oil. For most things, i use olive oil. For baking, I use canola oil.
Chocolate- http://www.soyfreesales.com/
This website sells soy free chocolate, gum, and cake mixes. I personally have not cut chocolate out of my life. If you look for gourmet chocolates in general, soy lecithin is used to replace cocoa butter as an emulsifier and make the chocolate cheaper to produce.
Mayonnaise-Try Canola Mayo or replace with oil or make your own
Spectrum Organics makes a canola mayonnaise which you can find on their website, amazon.com, or natural food stores. You can substitute olive oil (or even herbed olive oil) for sandwiches, and eggs for crabcakes, and If you've got a blender, you can make mayo with an egg and olive oil. *I did not like mayonnaise before I became allergic to it. As such, I have never tried canola mayonnaise and do not frequently make mayonnaise.
Popcorn-Try Nature's Promise Organic White Popcorn
Popcorn isn't usually an issue for me, but in an effort to decrease the soy in my life, I do try to eat soy free popcorn. Read the labels. Most of the microwave popcorn on the shelves (and even some of the jars of kernels for popping in a pan) contain soy. You can buy kernels (without soy of the label) and microwave in a brown paper bag or try Nature's Promise Organic White (not the buttered) which is on the shelf with all the other popcorn or also in the organic aisle. This may seem flavorless. I like to add seasonings (like old bay, cracked pepper, basil, etc.), olive oil, or butter (remember, you're allergic to soy. As long as you aren't allergic to dairy, real butter is fine). I worked in a movie theatre so I have some ins on that. In general, popping oil is palm kernel oil (and the counter attendant should know what their popping oil is, and if they don't it is written on the box), even though the buttery topping is soybean oil. Beware of small store or restaurant poppers which may use a packaged popcorn kit with the buttery flavoring already in the mix.
Icing/Frosting- make your own buttercream
This one requires a little more work. There aren't a whole lot of canned icings out there to begin with, but I'm pretty sure all of them are made with vegetable shortening (which is pure soybean oil). The easy fix is to make your own. Homemade buttercream frosting(made with butter- NOT shortening) is the fastest, easiest, and least noticeable replacement for convenient canned icings. It's pretty much butter and powdered sugar and doesn't take long.
Salad Dressing-make your own
Salad dressing is really easy to make, but almost all store bought dressings contain soy. Look for recipes online, or flavor packets that don't have soy in them. Vinaigrettes are pretty much an oil and vinegar combined with herbs and/or dried fruits or juices. Creamy dressings are usually sour cream and a flavor item (herbs, seasonings, cheeses) with an oil for thinning.
Bread & Other Baked Goods-make your own
I honestly have not encountered soy-free bread or crackers on the shelves in my grocery stores. If you have a small town bakery, ask them about soy free bread. I'm also told that stores like Trader Joes, Safeway, Albertson's, Fred Mayer's, etc sell soy free bread, but I don't have any of those in my area. The full disclosure is that I still eat baked goods that contain soy, and generally don't have problems with them TOO frequently (but sometimes I do. This is one of the items I've noticed I react to more readily with alcohol. I don't get hives from alcohol alone). At some point, I intend to invest in a bread machine and make my own. If soy is a real problem for you or your child, I feel this is something you will need to do. In general, I make my baked goods from scratch, but I won't refuse one that came from a box. In general, the icing that came on the store-bought cake/cupcake is more of a problem for me than the cake itself.
You can find: pretzels, chips, tortillas, and tortilla chips without soy. You'll need to read the labels, but they are on the shelf.
Restaurants
If you're anaphalactic, you already know that a restaurant will not be able to guarantee that what you're eating won't come into contact with soy in some way. I work in restaurants, and frankly there is just no way to make that promise. It's like people who want assurance that their food never came into contact with latex- there's just no way to guarantee that unless you slaughtered it yourself. You also probably already eat a very produce-heavy diet with few carbohydrates. If you are not anaphalactic, I really wouldn't bother with any special requests- for the most part, they can't accomodate you. You should stick to ordering things you know don't contain soy: proteins, vegetables, rice, mashed potatoes if they are made in house with real butter. Pasta is usually okay and pizza crust made in house is also usually safe.
For those that need an idea of why there's no point in telling them you can't have soy: the restaurant will make their best attempt not to give you anything with soy in it. This includes sandwiches, mayonnaise, salad dressings, and any sauce that comes of out of jar(like salsa), as well as anything breaded. Basically, they'll tell you what i just told you- meat and vegetables or salads without dressing. At best, you can ask whether they use butter or margarine and what type of oil is in their fryer(usually canola). If using oil and vinegar, clarify that it's olive oil(which it should be). Otherwise, stick to the "safe" produce items or eat at your risk, knowing that you could have a reaction. I generally go with the latter approach, though i do request that mayonnaise be left off of my items. I'm still at a point where knowing that i could get hives isn't going to keep me from ordering what I want. Some people don't have that luxury.
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